Toddler Discipline: How To Do It Best

Disciplining a child, especially a toddler, can be a real challenge. Toddlers are known for their need to be independent, and telling them what to do and how to act is the exact opposite of how they want to be treated.

We need to understand that child discipline is more about teaching the child what to do, and not commanding them what to do. Sounds like a tall order, but this is achievable once you learn a few tips and tricks.

When it comes to discipline, being consistent is the key. You can learn about all the child discipline tricks in the world, but they will never work if you’re not consistent. Make a rule and stick to it. If mom’s cell phone is off-limits today, then it should be off-limits for the rest of time. Don’t allow the child to play with the phone just because you need to distract him on some days.

Old school parenting says we should lecture kids every time they misbehave, but experts have found out that this is not very effective for toddlers. What a parent can do is to give a toddler a firm “no” when he’s about to do something unacceptable (or dangerous) and follow it with a short explanation such as “you might get hurt” or “that’s dangerous”.

You can then lead them to something that’s fun and appropriate for their age, such as watching TV or coloring pictures. This will allow them to get busy and not interfere with what mom’s doing.

If the child does something really wrong such as hit a playmate, you may resort to giving a time-out. Be careful though, as most parents give time-outs without making sure the child even understands why he is being punished. A lot of toddlers are too young to understand the concept of a time-out, so make sure that you give a warning (before the time-out) and explain after why the time-out was given.

The last rule is to never hit a child – no matter how he behaved. This will only make him afraid of the parent. Give the child a loving environment, and punish without spanking by giving time-outs or limiting benefits when they misbehave. This will teach them that there is a consequence for every action, and they will learn to choose right over wrong without you guarding them all the time.

Discipline But Be Loving

Article by Clark A. Thomas

Listening, learning, and observing your children are very effective ways of getting them to open up to you when disciplinary action is require to getting your child attention. Giving your child your undivided attention by listening is the first thing you should consider doing when things become tensed; lending hearing ears helps makes disciplining become less painful for yourself and your child. Your child or children need to vent to release the tension “build-up” they are experiencing themselves after a hard day at school. Every child has their side of the story of what took place whether at home or at school. By lending hearing ears you have the opportunity to analyze the situation at hand. Give your child ten to fifteen minutes to explain their side of story. This way you will learn exactly what took place after hearing what your child has shared with you. Most parents blast their children and give orders and strict disciplinary actions without getting all the details of the incidents that has taken place in their child lives.

By listening and learning about how they’re day went, you can now observe and get a clearer picture of the episodes of the day your child is sharing with you. The more your children share with you the easier your job will be when deciding what method of discipline you choose to use. Discipline means “to teach and to train” let your children learn from their own mistakes. However you have to be willing to teach and train your child so they will not make the same mistakes over and over again. Your child will see you as being fair and loving while providing stern but loving actions to help strengthen their character and development. Disciplining your child is a must; however make sure you do it in a loving way. I’ve experienced this type of disciplining and it helps me as a single-parent to keep my child on the right track when she loses focus. Use whatever disciplinary action you feel will be most beneficial for you and your family.

By doing so; your child will always come and let you know how they’re day went and share with you everything they really want and need to talk about. Open your eyes and your ears to hear from your child; this way you will be able to give correction and proper guidance. Your children are here to bring you joy. Enjoy your child or children and always be open to their “well-being.” Your child or children are an asset to you and not a liability. Look, Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of your womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3. If you are struggling with your parental rights and responsibilities sign-up to receive tips on life in general and I can help you with your parenting concerns. Copyright © 2007 Clark A. Thomas

About the Author

Clark A. Thomas, business expert, consultant and author, he discusses how to make single-parenting much less stressful. Writing articles has helped him become known online, get more newsletter subscribers and sell more products online. He’s sharing all the secrets he has discovered in his Articles tips@custodysecretsnow.com. Newsletters available at http://www.custodysecretsnow.com

How do you deal with discipline issues with your child?

“Spare the rod and spoil the child” is a common phrase all of us are familiar with, but not very many parents necessarily apply. Children need parents who will nurture them, teach them, and disciplinethem into becoming well-behaved children. On, the contrary, most parents want to do for their child what they couldn’t get from their parents so if a parent has been harsh and rough on the child, it is quite likely that when the child grows up to become a parent, the behavior towards his child will be far too soft and the child won’t be able to take even the slightest of harshness. Well it’s all fine to be gentle and soft with your child, but not exposing them to a bit of roughness, will not prepare them to deal with a rough world. Parents must be able to reinforce and reward the child’s behavior when it is good by say, taking them for a match, or a movie and punish them when they’re naughty and rude so that they remember the outcome of their behavior and learn to behave in a socially acceptable and responsible manner when they grow up. In short, to neglect disciplining a child is to create trouble for your child later on.  Every child is different, has different temperaments and possesses different levels of development. Adopting a style of discipline that works with one child need not work with your child. As a parent, you must intervene to improve their behaviors as early as possible. Some of the techniques you could adopt to disciplineyour child are as follows:

1. Permissive Approach – Involves hardly any disciplining and

Behavioural Outcome - Children grow up confused, insecure and without any sense of ethics.

2. Authoritarian Approach: It involves astrictness with an emphasis on perfection, lack of praise.

Behavioural Outcome – Children tend to become argumentative, rebellious, and grow up to resent authority.

3. Democratic Approach: Rules set, guidelines for permissible behaviour spelt out, punishments and reward technique

Behavioural Outcome: Children can make healthy decisions, have a clear concept of right and wrong and are confident.

You must also understand the majority of disciplining your child actually lies in your hands.  Suppose, each time your child throws a tantrum to be carried and eventually becomes violent. Please remain firm and do not give into any tantrum. Carry the child when the child has calmed down on its own. This way the child will understand that crying and throwing a tantrum doesn’t pay. This will also help the child later on, when it wants something, it will learn to wait for it in a mature manner rather than breaking down and crying for it. If you are firm and consistent the child will eventually learn that it doesn’t pay to pay to dictate terms to a parent or any authority later on.

OSA is a portal that caters to parents and helps makes school admissions a delightful experience. In case you are on the lookout for a good school in India, and don’t know where to begin, relax! OSA does everything for you right from filling up your form, submitting them online and scheduling a date for your child’s interview.OSA also has a newsletter service and posts blogs related to education and child discipline.

Discipline in the Montessori Classroom

Arborland Montessori Children’s Academy, Fullerton, CA

Freedom in the Montessori classroom is often misunderstood not only by the parents, but also by some teachers. What we need to remember is that from a Montessori point of view freedom is not the right to do what one wishes without thought or consideration for others. It also does not mean that the only way the child can be creative is to be allowed to do whatever he/she chooses without any consistent parameters and guidance from the adult in the room. For freedom to work creatively and constructively it has to function within the firm guidelines of discipline. Discipline does not mean being regimented and having to submit to the will of another. Freedom and discipline are two sides of the same coin. Freedom is the ability to stop, think and make a choice to the exclusion of any other possible given choices. Discipline is making correct choices while respecting the environment, and the rights of others to function and also make choices. Yes, to facilitate growth and correct choice making the child needs to act and be given opportunities to make choices. However, this does not mean the teacher abdicates responsibility. On the contrary it puts greater responsibility on the teacher.

The teacher has the responsibility of setting out firm parameters and guidelines within which the freedom may be used. This is not an easy task, especially if the teacher does not fully and correctly interpret the Montessori freedom and discipline philosophy in her own mind. Children love order, they are creatures of habit, and all the teacher needs to do is set out very clear guidelines and expectations within which the freedom may be enjoyed. Children are also expert manipulators, and till such time as the expectations have become a part of the daily routine, they will try to see how far they can push and change the rules to suit themselves. It is for this reason the expectations and rules need to be made clear early in the school year.

All this involves the teacher to be ever vigilant and consistent. They do not have to be labeled “mean or hard”. They have to remember to be consistent at all times while remaining kind and loving at the same time. Some teachers find this hard. While trying to set out order some teachers forget to show loving care and concern. Others show more than necessary care and concern giving the impression to the child that there is “wiggle room” to break the rules. Once you get this reputation, you will be struggling with freedom and discipline all year long.

So how do we give freedom and maintain discipline at the same time? How do we walk the fine line to balance and maintain the correct freedom and discipline? Here are some pointers that have worked well for me over the years.

Foster freedom in the room in the following ways: Allow freedom to move, to communicate, to choose activity, to work with others. Provide Limitations that give meaning and direction to the freedom in the following ways: Choices the child makes may not interfere with the rights of others, this provides harmony. The child may only choose work he/she has been presented, and is able to do. The child may only use material for the purpose for which it is intended, correctly with respect. Limit the number of materials. Only present tried and tested materials that are beneficial to the child’s development. This means no toys and unnecessary busy work.

I have deliberately kept these guidelines brief, allowing for elaboration and discussion by the teachers themselves.  None of this is news to any experienced Montessori teacher. But there is a need for constant reminder, and encouragement for all the teachers, especially those who constantly struggle with the concept of freedom and discipline, for those who give up and give too much freedom without consistency and for those who maintain discipline by being regimented and sacrifice freedom. Remember consistency tempered with love and caring is the key. The child needs to know YES, you do love and care very much. But he/she also needs to know and accept NO, there will be no negotiation on the parameters laid down for the use of the freedom.

In the beginning all of this will be challenging, but if you continue to repeat and maintain your rules, and do so with a smile on your face, love in your heart, and great deal of patience, you will be surprised with the positive results. Always remember, in the beginning, if you have to take away the child’s freedom in order to maintain discipline the child will label you “mean” and complain to the parent. Do not be put off by the thought of upsetting the parent. Ultimately the parent wants what you are trying to achieve. To avoid unnecessary complaint, always try to send the child home happy, after you have had the need to discipline him/her. Don’t carry a grudge and do not allow the child to nurse a grudge. Children are naturally forgiving, and if you show love while disciplining they will accept it sooner. If you have had a particularly challenging day with a child, get to the parent before the child can complain. Explain your position in a caring, loving way, always coming across that you are one hundred percent on the parent’s side, and show great love and care for the child. Do not get defensive, keep calm and always have an understanding smile on your face!

Finally I would like to remind you that the prepared environment in our classrooms fosters discipline, and the child creates it with your help. He/she does it within the context of his/her freedom to choose. There is a cycle and any disruption of it goes against the nature of the child. The freedom allowed in the Montessori Classroom nurtures discipline and makes it happen naturally. Dr. Montessori gave us the formula to create discipline naturally, but in order for it to work all the steps of the formula need to be followed. This is true in all areas of life; a formula is no good if any steps are omitted.

Arborland Montessori Children’s Academy is a Morning and afternoon school with school Lunch. Arborland Montessori Children’s Academy is directed toward the application of the highest standard and interpretation of the Montessori method through the techniques and philosophy.

5 things to ask before hiring a day care provider in Newburgh, NY

Article by Margaret Childs

Quality child care is among the biggest concerns parents have to face today. Finding day care is an intimidating experience. There are plenty of different philosophies, settings, mission statements that it could be confusing what exactly is best for you. Quality day care means greater than a flamboyant building and a neat playing field near your place of employment. Remember these questions while shopping for child care.

Listed here are the most important questions to ask the childcare provider:

What exactly is your discipline policy?

Even just the right of children gets in trouble at times. Find out how discipline issues are dealt with. Ideally, a child really should not be kept in time-out for more than one minute each year of his age. Ask about reiterate offenders. An excellence center will have a plan on hand on how to help a child with behavior problems while still protecting the other children.

What is the feeding and sleeping scheduling?

Some mothers have their kids on strict feeding and sleep schedules. Other mothers might prefer their kids to be fed on demand and sleep when tired. This is a personal choice with no wrong or right answer; you simply want to make certain that the sitter is not going to contradict what you have decided is best for you and the baby.

What are the vacation, illness, and holiday policies?

Most family child cares do require paid vacation time. Licensed family child care providers are professionals and offer a service, and earn a holiday like other people. Where a person takes one week paid and one week unpaid, many take 2 weeks paid. This is quite normal. In child care centers, they might close for a week or two for vacation or maintenance…so be sure to check the policies. Also, there should be a particular number of holidays listed in their policy book and you should review it carefully so there are no surprises. Also, many providers give you a week or two that the family may use as unpaid vacation time, should they be going away, so they do not have to pay for the spot. Regarding illness, your kids spot is often held by your payment, and whether or not they attend on a given day, you are usually required to pay for the day. Like anything else, it is a business – someones livelihood – and it is common for your weekly payment to be exactly the same regardless of attendance.

What is the environment/schedule/routine like?

Is this a secure, fenced in yard, is the house free of filth or trash is there outlet covers and cabinet locks? These safety items can save lives – and they do. It is extremely important that these be in place. As far as schedules and routines, children truly do really benefit from them. They ought to be loosely in place at home day cares, but some sense of routine allows children to feel safe and secure. When they know what is available, their actions and their internal relation will be much, much calmer.

About the Author

Visit http://www.daycarenewburgh.com to find a great daycare provider in Newburgh, NY. Free guide has tips on How to find the best day care for your child, how to prepare your child for day care, 5 things to ask a day care provider, what to expect from a day care provider.